Disabled Dating

I’m sure you’re wondering why I haven’t “travelled” the Internet to find

someone. Anyone out there tried EHARMONY? JDATE?

Let me tell you, there are more boys masquerading as men than I

ever thought! Sorry, guys, obviously I don’t mean all of you. But, can we be serious for a minute?

I’m 1% of the population, the disabled population that is. At least

according to a counsellor of mine, from years back. Just disabled enough to fall through the cracks in an “already broken down

system”, but not “disabled” enough to sit at the “disabled” table at

Starbucks? Hmm. Maybe things are looking up.

The women at my gym that I look like Drew Barrymore.

Over the phone, I can be anything I want to. It’s in person that I seem

to have the problem. I’ve been stood up on more coffee dates, than

the Brooklyn Bridge!

So, almost 14 years ago, a month after my Dad died of a heart attack,

I joined Love is For Everyone, a matchmaking site based out of

Arizona. I remember my telephone interview vividly. “Would you ever

consider dating anyone who had: Diabetes, HIV, AIDS, a heart

condition, or an Iron Lung?”

NO!

What the fuck did I get myself into?

So, I tried it. Unfortunately, there was no chapter in Southern

California, so all the matches they sent me were from: Oklahoma,

Texas, New Orleans. Makes it hard to set up a coffee date that way.

I got a letter one day from a guy named John Smith.

Here’s an excerpt:

“My name is John Santh. I have an Iron Lung and love to dance.”

Please call me @ (123) 456-4789

I await your response.